Ten Commandments of Self-Esteem VI-X

August 29, 2011

Self-esteem

Okay, here we go onto the next 5 commandments for feeling good about ourselves:

VI. What is not right for thee is also not right for thy brethren. (This means that you don’t sacrifice yourself for others i.e. stay in your rotten marriage for the kids)

  • Resolution: Discover the areas of your life where you are being less than true to yourselves.
VII. Thou shalt not give beyond thine own capacity. (How often do we give and give and help and help when we are depleted and exhausted?)
  • Resolution: Examine your balance sheets…mental, pysical, emotional, spiritual. (Do you have a lot more withdrawals than deposits?)
VIII. What thy brethren think of thee matters naught.  (Another hard one.  I was raised with the motto, “What will the neighbors think?”)
  • Resolution: Have conviction for your beliefs and act on them.
IX.  Wherever thou art, therein also is the party.  (Another hard one for me.  When I was in elementary school, I was constantly excluded from the others.  I felt so left out.  I felt unhappy.  Even as an adult it seems that others have more fun. But I have gotten better at this…mainly from choosing to do things to belong and have fun, that I regretted and wished I had skipped to stay home and read a book.)
  • Resolution: Remember times you you didn’t enjoy.  Did you have a sense that you didn’t really want to go, but thought you would be missing out if you didn’t?
X. Thou shalt sing thine own praises all the days of thy life.  (This is really the crux of the matter.  Loving and valuing ourselves.  Most of us have this huge Inner Critic who tells us what we did wrong, what we should have done, and even calls us names.  We must grow the Inner Nurturer inside us and starve the Inner Critic.  We need to be like Bette Midler (story from this book) who was being interviewed on TV after the movie “10” came out.  Three famous actresses were asked what they would rate themselves on the 1-10 scale. …yes sickening isn’t it? The first actress, who was an international sex symbol, said “I guess I’m at least an 8”. The second famous actress/model said, “I suppose I am a 7 or 8.” Now you have Bette Midler who isn’t thin or glamorous or a sex symbol at all. What does she say?  “10? Are you kidding? I’m a 57!”.)
  • Resolution: Learn when your Inner Critic is beating you up and stop.  Praise yourself and complement yourself a few times a day.  You really do deserve it, you know.
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